Sandra: Fear

Ten year old May held her brother Jack's head in one hand and with the other administered his medicine. 
She wiped the nasty syrupy stuff off his chin with the corner of her apron. Jack was six now and it was getting increasingly difficult to persuade him to open his mouth. Jack might not know much but he knew about medicine and would shake his head vigrously from side to side whenever he saw May approach with the bottle.
May did not  know what was wrong with Jack the doctor called it a really long name that May could not pronounce. May just knew that Jacks legs were useless twigs and he had to wear a nappy because he couldn't get to the lavvy. Father had made him a wheelchair from the old pram wheels and Jacks greatest
pleasure was too get taken out into the lane for a walk.  Just lately though Jack had become even more floppy.
May had to get two scarves and knot them together to make a strap to tie him in to his makeshift buggy.
Jack could not talk but he did make noises and he seemed to understand May when she spoke to him.
His eyes follwed her around the room as she got out her boots and set about lacing them.
May smiled at him."No walk  today Jack. I have to go to school, its Saturday tomorrow though and if you are a good boy I will take you down to the duckpond to watch the ducks ". She kissed him lightly on his cheeks and ruffled his hair.
May did not know it but this was the last time she would see Jack.
When May got home from school  with her brothers and sisters Father was waiting for them by the door. May had no idea what was to come but knew it must be important
because Father was never at home at this time in the afternoon. Mother looked sad and kept wringing her hands on her apron. Father ushered them all into the front parlour and sat them down. The children all looked up at him with puzzled faces.
Father cleared his throat and with a sigh told them all that Jack had died that morning.  He had a fit and never
recovered.  Father then asked them all to bow their heads and he recited 'The Lords my Shepherd'. May could feel the tears welling up.  Her Jack gone, how could that be? He was here this morning and now she would never see him again.
Through misty eyes she vaguely remembered Mother taking the other children from the room and her Father
lifting her up and taking her to his chair. He sat her down on his lap and held her close she could feel his heart
beating through his shirt. " You must try hard not to be too upset May" Father said. "Jack is with Jesus now,
he has been specially chosen to be our angel.  Jack is happy now all his earthly pains have been taken from him and he is dancing amidst the heavens".
May thought about this. She liked to think of Jack with a pair of gossamer wings like the pictures of angels in her bible class book" Is that what death is then? A release from all your pains and worries....

Many years later May was sitting on the edge of her husband George's bed.  George was writhing around in agony, the pain in his head so intense that it sent him blind.  The doctor had just left, shaking his head and telling her to try and keep him quiet.  George did not deserve this pain, he should be chosen too. May could help him, how could it be wrong to ease her husbands pain and see him relax into the arms of his lord. May picked up the medicine that the doctor had left her and opening Georges mouth she poured the medicine down his throat.  After a couple of minutes the pain left Georges face, May took a pillow and reciting the words just as her Father had, " He maketh me lay down in green pastures" she pressed the pillow down onto George's face.