Homework Sheila Reflection
Laura brushed her hair, her mother made her do this every night. She dare not defy her mother, she was vicious and brutal when Laura offended her. She felt she had homework, which was more important.
Laura brushed her hair, her mother made her do this every night. She dare not defy her mother, she was vicious and brutal when Laura offended her. She felt she had more important things to do but dare not say do and she really did not like being in this room on her own, even in the daytime, it fell strange, as if it was waiting for something to happen. When she came to bed at night it wasn’t so bad, because her mother was also there, and she closed her eyes and they stayed that way. It was her mother’s bedroom, but she had to sleep there too, as her father slept in the next room.
She heard heavy footsteps on the landing, must be her mother coming to see if had finished, she always walked like that. She looked in the mirror, she could the door from there, and saw her own face looking back, framed with shoulder length glossy brown hair and bright hazel eyes shadowed by dark lashes and eyebrows. No one had told her in all her 14 years that she was pretty, but one day she might be. She didn’t smile much but her lips were full. As she looked in the mirror she saw the bedroom door open behind her and raised the brush back to her hair. It wasn’t her mother who came in. She dropped the brush and stood, turning round as she did so. She pressed herself back against the dressing table in fear, and opened her mouth to scream.
All she could see was a dark shadow drifting across the room towards her. It had a face of sorts, with a wide gaping mouth, and it seemed to be whispering at her. Every other sound faded, she could only hear that whispering, and the edges of her vision began to darken
Her heart raced, as she whispered over and over, “It isn’t real, it isn’t real.” Just then, it reached her. It touched her and she felt such deep cold on her arms, she was shocked from her state of frozen fear and denial. At last she regained her breath, she screamed and the sound echoed in her head. She heard the sound of her mother more important things to do but dare not say do and she really did not like being in this room on her own, even in the daytime, it fell strange, as if it was waiting for something to happen. When she came to bed at night it wasn’t so bad, because her mother was also there, and she closed her eyes and they stayed that way. It was her mother’s bedroom, but she had to sleep there too, as her father slept in the next room.
Sheila - There are a few editing issues here that you may have overlooked. But the fear factor was definitely there in the story.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think there are repeated portions of text - but I enjoyed your evocation of a waking nightmare - 'a face of sorts' was my favourite phrase. It sounds as if this might actually be transplanted into your novel...
ReplyDeleteAn exciting story. I liked the way you built up the scene around and Laura's speculation about herself. The unexpected visitant and its effects on Laura were thrilling. PETER.
ReplyDelete