Monday, 15 November 2010

Peter-Character Profile-Week 6


Groselm has small, suspicious eyes.   The nose is flat and circular and punctured with  small holes.  Long hair sprouts around it like grass.   His mouth is in two parts.  A short horizontal piece at the front and two longer slits that run down  at angles from it.  Great  flaccid cheeks hang from side to side from which protrude foot-long  incisors,  tapering into  razor  sharp points.  His ears are hardly visible as they lost from view in the thick blubbery  skin at the top of his  head.  But make no mistake, the hearing is acute and he can pick up sounds from far across the miles of  snowy  wastes and the grey turbulent seas that besiege these inhospitable shores.

Groselm  is big:  nine metres high and ten metres in length.  The belly like an enormous barrel.   The smooth, powerful  back, tapers  into a powerful fan shaped tail.     Either side of the barrel like chest, two  bladelike fins project that could kill an enemy with one blow. Look carefully along the serrated edge of these and you will see rows of stubby fingers  with which Groselm can manipulate the most delicate of objects.  His booming voice  echoes around the cavernous home which lies beneath the sea.

How old is he?    One hundred, two hundred years.    Like the ice deep, deep beneath the  snow, Groselm seems to have been with us forever.   His children don’t know.  Only the ancient  Droye who lies a gibbering mess in an isolated pool, knows the answer to that question.  The passive offspring lie slumped, sleepless  all around him, watching, waiting with fear, eager to avoid the volcanic anger that can erupt without warning..

For all creatures know that here in this pitiless frozen  world   of jagged peaked  mountains and vast white plains where snow drifts like phantoms and icebergs are born in a furious roar,  Groselm is king - his power  supreme.   Yet deep down beneath the welters of blubber, you will find lurking in a corner of his cold uncompassionate heart, a fear,  that one day his sway  will dissolve and vanish like melting snow and the spirits of those held prisoner for so long will escape like flocks of Pintado petrels..
           

4 comments:

  1. What a fantastic imagination you have! I was instantly transported to Groselm's world. You certainly are a master at painting pictures with words.

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  2. Wow. Peter, it just gets better and better! What an amazing description, not only of Groselm, but the world he inhabits. You really do have the makings of a great fantasy novel here. I can't wait to read it!

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  3. As with everything else you have written so far, Peter....I loved it! you have a great imagination and the gift of saying a lot in only a few perfectly chosen words. Love the descrition of this Groselm Character

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  4. Excellent. You have a feel for rhythm, as in para intoductions such as 'Groselm is big:' , which really lift this piece. Unfortunately in other places this lets you down - for example the sentences 'The smooth, powerful back, tapers into a powerful fan shaped tail. Either side of the barrel like chest, two bladelike fins project that could kill an enemy with one blow.' This would be better as: 'The smooth, powerful back tapers into a powerful fan-shaped tail. Either side of the barrel-like chest, two blade-like fins project that could kill an enemy with one blow.' Even here though you would do better to keep only one of 'barrel-like' and 'blade-like'. 'His mouth is in two parts.' Does this really mean what it says? But generally this satisfies the prime directive for any piece of fiction - it makes you want to read on.

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