There was a knock at the door and Ellie got up to answer it.
‘Oh Seb you’re finally here, about time!’ She said ‘Everyone else has been here for ages!’
‘Well nice to see you too. Yes I’m fine thank you very much for asking, how are you?’ he said sarcastically. ‘Anyway what’s this all about?’ he asked as he walked into the main living room where Damo and Elizabeth were seated. He waved and made a face at Ellie behind her back. The others stayed poker-faced.
‘It’s actually a very important meeting and one that needs all of our input.’ Ellie explained.
‘Is it about the photographs we received, or the riddles on the back of them? Have you solved the mystery?’ Damo asked excitedly.
‘No, no it’s nothing like that, it’s much bigger than that actually in a way.’ Said Ellie.
‘Well go on, don’t keep us in suspense.’ Elizabeth
‘Well what it is, is, well, we’ve all been given a task’
‘Oh not something else to solve.’ Interrupted Seb irritably.
‘No, if you’ll let me finish, well the thing is, we have been given the task of deciding the title for this book that we’re all in.’ Ellie finished, taking in the shocked looks of the other three. ‘and I personally, think’ she continued, taking advantage of their surprise ‘that, maybe we should call it Ellie.’
‘What do you mean decide the title of the book we’re in, don’t be ridiculous.’ Said a startled Damo.
‘Damo,’ Elizabeth
‘Hang on everybody. Have you taken in what Ellie just said? Ellie wants to name it after herself, because she thinks she’s the most important one here, as usual!’ shouted Seb.
‘Oh get over yourself, if you’re that worried we can name it after the four of us.’ Retorted Ellie.
‘Well doesn’t that seem a bit obvious?’ said Damo, quickly recovering from his initial shock, ‘I mean it is a bit of a mystery isn’t it, couldn’t it be something that hints a bit more at the mysteries that will reveal themselves? Maybe something like….oh I don’t know, ooh how about The Mysteriddle?’
Damo looked at the others who were all trying to avoid his eye contact for some reason.
‘I don’t know I think something that hints at our friendships and the journeys that we’ll be taking together, something more whimsical’ Elizabeth
Seb made a face, while Ellie looked tactfully out of the window.
‘Well as much as it pains me to say it, I think I have to agree with Ellie.’ Seb said ‘The fairest way of doing this is to name all of us.’
‘Okay, that seems fair.’ Agreed Ellie.
‘Agreed.’ said a slightly sulky Elizabeth
‘Well that’s fine by me I suppose.’ Said Damo, ‘the only thing is, what order shall we put the names in?’
Everyone slumped and loud sighs were heard around the living room.
I liked the tension you created between the characters Sam. The heated discussion was convincing. Your characters are more democratic than mine.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that strikes me is that you've got four characters of roughly the same age, two of each sex, and you're going to have to work hard to distinguish them from one another. But I can already see the process at work - Elizabeth is dreamy, Damo is perhaps a little crude and lumpen, Ellie is full of herself. You might want to work at their physical appearances in later pieces - I'll bring in a character sheet from an earlier exercise for you to consider.
ReplyDeleteOne thing you might find useful - when you create dialogue that ends in a full stop, but which is then attributed to someone (i.e. he said, she said), you don't actually use a full stop (confusingly!) you use a comma. So your sentence ‘It’s actually a very important meeting and one that needs all of our input.’ Ellie explained.
should read ‘It’s actually a very important meeting and one that needs all of our input,’ Ellie explained.
As for titles, I still like the four-name title but you may find that in the process of getting further into the story something more thematic suggests itself. Keep up the good work.
I think in the end, Sam, it will all be down to syllables and how the names flow naturally together (Wise and Morecambe would never have done so well that way round...)
ReplyDelete