Julie - Title Discussion

‘What’s wrong with naming the book after me?’ Cassie demanded, turning to give her brother, who was sitting next to her on the settee, the full force of her icy stare.  ‘I am the heroine.’

Greg laughed.  ‘Heroine?  Now it really does sound like a Jane Austen novel.’

Helen, who was sitting on a reclining chair to their left, reached over and selected a chocolate from the box on the coffee table.  ‘As a matter of fact,’ she began, ‘Most of Jane Austen’s novels weren’t named after the heroine, they were thematic, like “Pride and Prejudice” or “Sense and Sensibility”.’  She paused to pop the orange crème into her mouth and through it continued thickly, ‘And anyway, I wish you two would stop arguing about it.’

‘Sorry Mum,’ they said in unison.

‘Well, what do you think it should be called then?’ Cassie asked.

Helen frowned, sucking vigorously on the orange crème.  Before she had a chance to answer, Gran leaned forward in her chair opposite Cassie and Greg and piped up, ‘Is someone writing a book about you, Cassandra?’

Greg coughed extravagantly.

‘Yes, Gran,’ Cassie said, glaring at Greg.  ‘We’re all in it.’

‘Well, some more than others,’ Helen muttered, glancing up at the clock on the wall.  ‘Perhaps it should be called “The Absent Father”.’

‘Or what about “Who’s the Daddy”?’ Greg joked.

Cassie punched him on the arm.  ‘That isn’t funny.  I’m going to suffer a lot of angst over that one.’

There was a pause.  Helen, who was gazing thoughtfully into space, finally broke the silence.  ‘What about “Separate Ways”?’

Cassie and Greg exchanged glances.

‘Or “A Fool Such as I”,’ Helen continued.  She looked round the room.  ‘“Heartbreak Hotel”?’

‘Oh, I get it,’ Greg said.  ‘Elvis songs.  Well, if we’re doing songs what about “Can I Play with Madness”?  Quite appropriate,’ he continued in an undertone to Cassie, ‘Bearing in mind the circumstances.’  He indicated Helen with a discrete jerk of his head.

‘Greg!’ Cassie hissed indignantly.  ‘This is 1977.  Iron Maiden haven’t even written that one yet and anyway,’ she continued quietly, ‘That isn’t fair on Mum.  She will get over her psychiatric troubles.’

‘Yeah, point taken.  Sorry Sis.’

Helen, who was once again studying the chocolate selection, was oblivious to their exchange and seemed to have lost interest in the whole discussion.

‘What about “Love and Forgiveness” or “Love Hurts” or “For the Love of Joe”?’ Cassie suggested.

Greg pretended to gag.  ‘I’m not getting involved with anything to do with the “L” word.’

‘You will, brother.  You will,’ Cassie replied.  ‘OK.  We could use an old catch-phrase, or come up with a new one.’

‘Come up with a new catch-phrase?  What, jus’ like that?’  He said it in the style of Tommy Cooper, fanning his fingers out in front of him.

Cassie giggled.  ‘Yeah, that sort of thing, but I think that one’s been done.’

‘I reckon it should be something clever, or ambiguous; a song title, or a really good quote – from a book or from a song,’ Greg said.

‘Brilliant!’ Cassie agreed.  ‘All we have to do is think of one.  Do you have something in mind?’

‘“Revelations”.’

‘Too Biblical.’

‘“Forgive us our Trespasses”.’

‘Ditto.’

‘“Secrets and Lies”.’

‘Been done.’

‘“True Lies”.’

‘That’s going to be a film in 1994 with Arnie and Jamie Lee Curtis.’

‘“The Secret Truth”.’

‘Rubbish!’

‘“An Uncertain Truth”.’

‘Hmm.  Better.’

‘If you go to trial later in the book, it could be called “Nothing but the Truth”.’

‘I like the idea of using “Truth” in the title,’ Cassie said, ‘Work with that.’

There was a short pause, then ‘“Truth is a Distant Planet”,’ he suggested, triumphantly.

Cassie pursed her lips.  ‘Why?  How do you mean?’

‘Well,’ Greg said slowly, ‘Like a distant planet, the truth is often difficult to comprehend and even harder to get to.’

Cassie nodded thoughtfully.  ‘I like it,’ she said finally.

Gran, who had been watching this exchange like a spectator at a tennis match, leant forward again, cupping her hand against her ear.  ‘What’s everyone talking about?’ she asked.

‘A book, Gran,’ Cassie replied, raising her voice slightly.

‘A book?’ Gran repeated.  ‘A book, you say?  What’s it called then?’

Greg thumped the heel of his hand against his forehead in a gesture of exasperation. 

Cassie smiled.  ‘I think this is where we came in.’

***

What does everyone think about ‘Truth is a Distant Planet’ as a title?  I quite like it.

J