Ellen Danby is used to being admired. She has a charisma which sits like an aura around her. When she enters a room, men are instantly drawn to the deep blue eyes and dark, auburn hair which she always wears loose, curling in thick waves around her face. She has the ageless beauty that good bone structure seems to ensure; high cheekbones and slim neck which belies her fifty years. Women find her a threat, even though she is in a relationship with Jason. No doubt this is enhanced because Jason is ten years younger than Ellen. This flags 'Danger' to any other woman who is herself in a fragile partnership. Insecurity shows itself in a variety of ways.Women will actually remove themselves physically from her presence and, place a firm hand through their husband's or partner's arm, steering them away in an animalistic show of territorial superiority. Such is their fear of this woman's allure.
Ellen is aware of this power and uses it shamelessly. If she does not command full attention at all times it worries and frustrates her.
Ellen had just completed her daily run on the footpath which runs behind her house in Newland Park.As she stopped to re-tie her lace she smiled, remembering the sweaty young men who also completed this daily ritual and eyed her longingly. It was where she had met Jason her current partner.
" Partner in crime," she mused as she remembered the episode in the Knightsbridge shop a couple of weeks ago " and we got away with it too." She giggled to herself as she opened the little gate at the rear of her garden and stepped up to the back door.
As she turned the key in the lock she could hear the phone in the hallway and raced to pick up the receiver.
"Mrs Danby?" a woman's voice came from the receiver before she lifted it to her ear. The voice was officious and Ellen immediately stiffened.
"Yes - who is this?" Ellen had the sinking feeling that it was the police. " Oh hell, they had CCTV, they've recognised me from it. I knew it, we had just too much fun for it not to have consequences. "
A panic rose in her stomach as she remembered the ridiculously easy theft from the Knightsbridge shoe shop. A silly schoolgirl -like dare, now threatening to ruin her life. The Louboutin shoes had sat in her hallway ever since she got back from the weekend, as a reminder of this funny prank that Jason had suggested and she had agreed to, now they were evidence of her stupidity.
The voice on the other end of the phone broke into her thoughts like a shard of glass.
" This is the Northbridge hospital Mrs Danby. I'm afraid I will have to ask you to get here as soon as you can. Your daughter has had an accident". There was a slight but significant pause before she added, " with some pills"
" I have three daughters, what's her name?"
Ellen knew exactly which daughter it was, but she needed to play for some time in order to calm the rising anger that started to well up in her.
" It's Carrie, Mrs Danby." this time there was a sensitivity in the nurses voice. " We can explain a little more - when you get here" she said gently.
"I'm afraid I can't come in right now" Ellen said briskly " I will contact my other daughters. One of them will come in shortly I'm sure"
"Mrs Danby, your daughter is very poorly! " The nurse was obviously concerned at the seemingly cool response.
" Sorry, I can't, I will tell the girls and someone will be there soon." Ellen slammed the phone down.
She felt a strange mix of anger, fear and shock flowing through her body. Angry because once again, Carrie had stolen her thunder. She knew that Jason would be so concerned about Carrie when he returned from school that he would immediately contact the hospital. They were due to catch a train to Paris the next day to celebrate their one year anniversary. Now, once again, Carrie had spoiled her mother's adventure.
The fear was a strange emotion. She could not work out where it was coming from or why. She had always been strong, since those early days in the home when she had needed to fight to make her way in the world. Now she was experiencing something she had not felt since her mother was taken away when she was four. That terrible day and those awful feelings were seared into her brain, and it shocked her that she was again experiencing them.
" That little bitch," she thought " she's done it again." And she immediately raised the phone to call Sadie.
>...........................................attempted suicide of Carrie. How will this affect Ellens sense of perspective?. Will she finally put someone else at the centre of her world, and will this last? Does she really hate not being the centre, what has caused this resentment of anyone else getting the limelight?
I think the plot is terrific. I was a little lost by the introduction in your character conflict piece, the detail came so quickly. But the writing came alive for me during the conversation between Jason and Ellen. PETER
ReplyDeleteYou've created a very selfish woman who wishes to dominate and enslave men and who fears her daughter. Its compelling and sexy but you will need to add some light and shade so as not to make her a caricature. However, your decision to make her suffer at the hands of her daughter is an extremely good one and is guaranteed to keep readers reading. Excellent.
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