l. Beyond the shimmering mist the sun was lurking like a phosphorescent philanderer.
2. Swarms of hovering ice crystals, beset the watery sun that glared down at the bleak landscape like a crazed eye.
3. Red, red, red the sun lay like a cardinal’s ransacked wardrobe.
4. The still waters of the lake lay like a vast fragment of translucent amber beneath the sorcery of the dying sun..
5. Across the sea, the sun like an old magician, cast a glittering yellow path to an undiscovered world of glory.
6. Like a yellow cannonball, the sun wickedly suspended above the devastation that lay scattered like a delicate Chinese Empress’ vase smashed into a thousand precious pieces.
7. Slipping slowly behind the sombre mountains the sun glowed like a gigantic electric bulb.
8. Trapped between the dark, brooding sky and the sinister shadows of the mountainous crags the bright rays of the sun boiled like a yellow sea thrashing to escape the clutches of the night.
9. The low rays of the sun’s light cast such a spell on the troubled landscape that all was transformed into a tea set of fine bone china.
l0. Across the horizon the sun flowed like a golden river.
I love the contrast with the cardinal's wardrobe Peter, it really gives you a sense of colour spreading everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI also loved the old magician - what a lovely picture it paints. Fantastic!
You have a real talent for this Peter - I would recommend you work with some of these. I think it's a certain freedom that you permit yourself, which means you take risks and achieve some very startling and surrealistic effects. Numbers 1, 3, 4 and 7 were especially good. Number 6 contained two similies - which you should probably never try in a real sentence! My favourite was probably number 7, which though not as outre as some of the others, had a relevance to the world of oil exploration and the uses we put oil to (generating light). This points up one of the ways simile can be most effective - if it is appropriate to the emotional and moral world of the story.
ReplyDeleteFor context re your arctic/novel themes I'd vote for 7.
ReplyDeleteRe shifting to a new way of thinking - I personally loved no 3.
I couldn't quite get my head around phosphorescent philanderers but the simile made me sit up and take notice.
No 5 was a potential favourite ..magician, sense of timelessness and the yellow pathway that the sun can seem to create. My only sticking point was re a magician casting a path.
I think you are really talented writer - but get a sense that you may need to "stick to the knitting" (management speak!)to focus on one current project/novel and see it through.