Sunday, 27 February 2011

Peter--Four Comma Splice Sentences

Old Ted reached for his gun, Rover's big eyes were begging for mercy.
Slowly Ted loaded the rifle, the door blew open.
The ghost of Giles the gamekeeper came into the cabin, Rover shook with fear.
Terrified Ted cried aloud, Rover raced to freedom.


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2 comments:

  1. Gary2 March 2011 at 06:09

    Very nice - and very climactic. You got the idea well.

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  2. moderator2 March 2011 at 11:57

    Effectively bad! My concern is that if the comma splices were corrected, whilst grammatically correct, it would still be bad ..and nothing like the richness and pace of your normal style.

    ReplyDelete