Monday, 28 February 2011

Julie - Comma Splice

Cassie walked up the path towards the imposing brick house, her heart pounded in her chest.  This was the moment of truth, nothing would ever be the same again.  She felt the piece of paper, deep in the pocket of her coat, she knew the address off by heart – 52 Belmont Gardens, Northwick.  The door was painted bright red, with a shaking hand she reached out and pushed the bell.
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2 comments:

  1. Gary2 March 2011 at 06:08

    Perfect - or, should I say, perfectly wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sue2 March 2011 at 12:27

    Brilliantly bad and good. You have done what I think I failed to do i.e. deliberately mess up by using comma splices, but achieve a potentially effective narrative if they were corrected.

    ReplyDelete