Cassie bounded into the kitchen, expecting to see David finishing his breakfast; instead, Helen was sitting at the round, glass table, drinking a cup of tea.
‘Where’s Dad?’ Cassie asked, ‘Is he ready to take me to look round the college?’
Helen lowered her cup and shook her head. ‘Sorry, love, he didn’t come home last night. He had to stay in Birmingham
Cassie was devastated. She had been looking forward all week to visiting Norbridge College
‘What about me? What am I supposed to do?’ she whined.
‘Don’t worry, Cass, I’m going to take you.’
‘Oh, great,’ replied Cassie, ‘Now I am worried!’ Helen’s driving was legendary, for all the wrong reasons.
‘Well, I thought you might be grateful.’
‘Why is Dad never here?’ Cassie said, ignoring her. ‘I’m so fed up with him saying he’ll pick me up from parties and then he doesn’t turn up and you have to do it. He’s such a let-down.’
‘Perhaps you might consider how I feel in all this,’ Helen replied, sarcastically.
‘You’re used to it. I’m only 16; he’s my Dad. I believe him when he says things. Well, I did, not so much now. I’m getting used to him never being here, and never doing what he says.’ Cassie was fighting back tears now, but Helen was becoming angry.
‘Cassie, you are being unreasonable. You’ve no idea what that man has done for you. He has to work. He works hard so we can live here, and you can have the things you want.’
‘What I want is for him to be here more. It isn’t fair. When Greg was younger they used to do all sorts of stuff together.’
‘It was just fishing, Cassie – boys’ stuff. He did take you once but you didn’t like it; you just felt sorry for the fish. He did other things with you. He used to take you to Fircombe on market day when they had the livestock markets and you used to like to look at all the animals.’
‘Well, we didn’t go much,’ Cassie said, stubbornly. ‘He just doesn’t care about me.’
‘Of course he does,’ Helen shouted, becoming more and more exasperated on her husband’s behalf. ‘He cares about you very much. You’re so ungrateful, perhaps I won’t bother to take you to Norbridge either.’
‘Well, please yourself,’ Cassie retorted, and stomped out.
***
Cassie doesn’t realise David is not her real father. Helen has always been worried that he favoured Cassie’s brother, Greg, because he was David’s natural son.
What neither of them know at this point is that David is having an affair…
Very clear narrative. The conversation between Cassie is credible and their characters emerge. There was just a suggestion for me, that Helen has an intuitive feeling that David is playing fast and loose. PETER
ReplyDeleteA typical Mother/Daughter conversation, where neither wants to give ground. I agree with Peter. There does appear to be an element of 'the lady doth protest too much' about Helen. Perhaps she has a suspicion but just doesn't want to acknowledge it. It would be the mother's natural reaction to protect her children.
ReplyDeleteI had to re- read to get any hints of concern re David having an affair. I think it works well re the dialogue between Cassie and Helen becoming retrospectively much more nuanced once we know the sub text relating to David.
ReplyDeleteThis is strong writing - you might improve it by taking out phrases such as 'becoming more and more exasperated on her husband’s behalf' - which tells us what to conclude from Helen's tone rather than leaving us to work it out - and 'Is he ready to take me to look round the college' which duplicates what you say in the paragraph after. You could consider putting in something to show that Helen has a minute suspicion that David may not have stayed in Birmingham to finish work. This was a difficult assignment to set and you understood the idea well - don't always write 'on the nose'.
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry this comment was late!