Carrie flounced along the pavement. Her short flared skirt bounced from side to side as she swung the shopping bag with her recently bought breakfast of a crusty French baton and cheese onto her shoulder. The sun shone with that clear brightness that only happens in Paris at a particular time of day in the summer, just after sunrise and in time for breakfast. She would find a spot to eat this before she found a place to stay.
Carrie smiled to herself, a little self consciously, as she imagined her Mother’s fury when she discovered that her credit card had been used to pay for Carrie’s short trip to Paris by Euro star. Carrie had felt no guilt as she reeled off the number and the expiry date to the tele- sales girl and thumbed a lift to London Waterloo to collect the ticket and jump aboard. Why would she? She had even booked first class !
As she sat on a park bench breaking off a large chunk of baton and opening the Vignotte, she suddenly saw a good looking young guy walking toward her. He didn’t take his eyes from her and she smiled at him. As he got closer to her she saw that he was smiling too.
“Hey” the guy spoke in the universal language of the young.
“Hey” Carrie sat with her bread in one hand said “You want some?” indicating the cheese and bread with a nod.
“‘Merci,” he sat down by her side and offered his hand “ Josh,” he said by way of an introduction.
“ Carrie pleased to meet you.'You English?” asked Carrie as she handed him some cheese and bread.
“ Canadian”. Josh gratefully took Carrie’s offering. “ Here on a scholarship. Bloody difficult getting by on my grant though”.
They chewed on the bread and cheese and spent the next hour discussing the merits of the Paris hostels before Josh offered to take her to one he knew in the 13th Arrondissement. She laughed and pulled a face exclaiming “ Eew!” when he said it was called ‘Hotel Rive Gauche’.
She followed him through the streets. The district had become a little seedy as they walked, with high rise apartments on both sides of the street and grey concrete areas where people were either sitting with beer cans or smoking. The smell of dope wafted on the air, and small groups of kids were playing rowdy street games. After a while he took her hand. She felt comforted by this and smiled up at him.
As they rounded a corner they walked straight into a group of youths.
Carrie immediately felt the flow of fear go through her. This was no ordinary get together of a group of friends on a street corner. The group turned to face them as one. It was as if they had some internal flock mechanism. One of the youths came toward them swaggering. He stopped when his face was inches from Josh; the others remained still and menacing, none of them losing eye contact with Josh. Josh’s grip on her hand tightened.
“Stay with me and don’t say anything” he whispered. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you” His voice was calm and reassuring and she believed him completely. She held on to his arm, trying desperately not to let the youth see her shaking. She could feel her head shaking and panic rose in her until she felt sick.
“Guys, we want no fuss” Josh was still calm lifting both hands in the air in the sign of appeasement. He gave the youth the same smile he had given Carrie. “We have no cash, just let us be”
With no warning, the youth butted Josh in the head and threw him to the ground. The four others then set upon him in unison, kicking him, until he cried out in pain.
Carrie was shaking, but watching, fascinated by the almost surgical precision of every blow that landed on Josh. She felt as if she were watching a movie, it was then that she saw the swift motion and a glint of a blade. She cried out and the group turned as one to look at her. She saw the look in their eyes and knew what was coming.
Carrie was shaking, but watching, fascinated by the almost surgical precision of every blow that landed on Josh. She felt as if she were watching a movie, it was then that she saw the swift motion and a glint of a blade. She cried out and the group turned as one to look at her. She saw the look in their eyes and knew what was coming.
“Josh!” she whimpered as she turned and ran for her life. She never looked back, but in her mind she was screaming for Josh. Her breath was coming in short gasps as she rounded the corner and saw the glistening white neon sign saying ‘Rive Gauche’.
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Scenario 1 – Carrie tells someone what she has witnessed but this could put her in serious danger from the gang
Scenario 2 – Although Carrie grieves for Josh and is ashamed of her reaction, she doesn’t tell anyone about it – but could Josh come back into her life? Why was he assaulted ? Did he know the gang?
Scenario 3 - She uses her wiles to revenge Josh’s injuries by involving herself with the street gang, with awful consequences for both her, Josh and her family at home in the UK
I enjoyed the story especially when Cassie and Josh enter the seedy danger zone. The detailed confrontation with the gang was gripping and one feels robbed not knowing what happened to Josh. PETER
ReplyDeleteVery good - I enjoyed seeing Josh getting beaten up. It was payback for him being so good with the ladies.
ReplyDeleteMore seriously this incident seems to have sparked a number of possible directions and if you go with it, will become a pivotal moment in your book. The first two scenarios sound more immediately believable, since she hasnt developed enough attachment to Josh to want 'revenge', as such.