ROS - WHAT CAROLINE DREADS

Caroline sensed that there was something different about Holly.  She couldn't quite put her finger on it because she was as ever quiet, polite and softly spoken  however Caroline observed that when Holly did speak, she did so with a new authority, which surprized her. There was of course Marie. Caroline had noticed that she was constantly glancing at Holly as if she too saw something different about her.  Marie was never short of words, even if they were the wrong ones.  She frequently deferred to Holly, drawing her into the conversation, encouraging her to express a view on every subject. Caroline recognised that she should have been pleased with her daughter's increasing confidence but she found that she wasn't.  She was used to Holly being a spectator in the family but now she was becoming a player, someone whose opinion counted, whose wishes could not be ignored.  Caroline was used to having things her own way and she didn't intend that to change.  But what had brought about this new situation she brooded?  Perhaps it was no more than Marie's presence and influence that had emboldened Holly. A temporary state of affairs.  Once Marie was gone the status quo would return.  But would it?  She feared that there might be something else afoot.  Something to which she was not privy.

Caroline might have gone on speculating for sometime if one evening she had not overheard the girls talking in Holly's bedroom.  Caroline was blessed with acute hearing ,and although their voices were hardly raised above a murmur, she identified a few words which made her pause and creep closer to the closed door. She justified eavesdropping to herself, as she always did when she was dealing with Holly, that it was for her own good.  She refused to listen to her better self which questioned her behaviour and her motivation, so different when it came to Holly, so - unfair?  Caroline swept such thoughts aside and strained to listen.

In the event Caroline was thwarted because the voice of Lady Gaga rose to drown out the girls' conversation.  But Caroline had heard enough to be alarmed.  The name that she had not allowed to  pass her lips or anyone else's for the past seventeen years had been spoken..  What did they know?  Worse still what did they  plan to do with what they knew? Was this the root of Holly's changed demeanour? She was in possession of  some knowledge which made her feel more powerful?  Caroline's mouth went dry and a knot formed in her stomach.  Her instinct was to want to confide in someone but she dismissed the notion  at once.  Whatever was about to happen she would have to deal with alone.  Perhaps it wasn't too late. She counselled herself to remain calm and to think things through.  After all she had been successful in keeping her past at bay all these years. Surely it wasn't beyond her wit to manage the situation? She couldn't, wouldn't,  allow her daughter and a meddling French au pair to upset her life, to overturn everything for which she had strived. Caroline turned on her heel, gathered herself together and descended the stairs as if everything was in perfect order. But in her head there was a state of turmoil and fear such as she had never experienced before.